Monthly Archives: February 2017

The easy to your banquet hall

1. Get a headcount
Headcounts are important to have, from the starting point. It would all depend on the crowd and who you want the transport for. This is why, when you send out the invites, ask your attendees to confirm if they want to be picked and dropped.

2. Manage the out-of-towners
From day one, you would have guests and relatives and friends pouring in to help with the wedding and to attend it, from out of town. They would or wouldn’t know the city or town too well, which is why, it would be up to you to handle transportation for them. Right from picking them up from the airport or train stations or the bus depots, to bringing them to the wedding venue.

3.Advance booking saves the day
A good one month in hand is what you need to have when booking for wedding transportation, especially during the wedding season. Formal vehicles such as cars, and buses would always be in high demand.

4. Communication is the key
You need to get your word out to the attendees to let them know how they would be picked up and where or when. Spread the word through email and The not-so-tech-savvy folks attending your wedding, should be called the night before and all details of the transportation should be given.

5. A bridal party ride
This is especially for the hard-working souls behind your wedding- the bridesmaids and the groomsmen that need a break. Arrange for a bridal ride that would take them around town, to a party or for a night out on a spin. This helps them unwind and relax through all the rigmarole that is happening.

6. Never leave anyone stranded
Have someone to check, double check and to cross check with the attendees and the car or the bus company if all are picked up and on time. Never leave anyone stranded.

7.Ask your friends for help
Always ask your friends to be ready with their own personal vehicles to help ferry attendees to and from the venue. A backup plan for last minute arrivals can be a breather.

True Love and Metaphorical Love

It is a famous saying of Ashfaq Ahmad that if a person kills his ego in front of one person then he has metaphorical love for that person but if he kills his ego in front of everyone, then it is a true state of love for God. Here the metaphorical love is defined as the worldly love that a person holds for his blood relations and for those people who are close to his heart. This kind of love stays in the world and does not create any spiritual bonding with the Lord. This kind of love is often two sided and is based on many benefits that a person may demand from the other. It can also last for a limited time, based on the expectations of both parties. Many poets have beautifully explained this love through their poetry and some of them have also declared that love as a false and fake love that is selfish and last for a short time period.

On the other hand, the true love for God remains eternaland immortal. The famous poetry of Bulleh Shah is full of the thoughts of spiritual things. According to a famous verse of Bulleh Shah, it is easy to make your God happy by singing just two songs but in order to make your loved one happy, you have to keep dancing all night. This shows how hard it is to please the creations of Allah Almighty and how easy it is to make our God happy by simply going in Sajda and crying for mercy. Allah always listen to the true prayers of a man this strong bonding between a person and his Creator shows the eternal example of Sufism.

Many examples of true love can be seen in our day to day life. When a pilgrim is standing in front of the Kaaba and seeking for mercy from Allah Almighty, then that true love of God can be seen in his eyes which is free from any fakeness of the world. For the convenience, the respected pilgrims have been seen taking the Packages in Ramadan Umrah 2017 London For Muslims.This true and pure form of love for God is also known as Ishq-e-Haqeeqi. This is the most sacred form of love that a person can have for his Lord. When you pray five times a day and bow down in Sajdah without any hypocrisy in your heart, then no other love of this world can match with this form of love.

Rice Purity Test

Over the last couple of years, less than a decade, rice purity test has taken the world by storm. Human being is known to be very adventurous and as you try out things, you grow to be less pure according to the rice purity test. Rice purity test basically is a test that asks very private and confidential questions especially revolving around sexuality just to see how much of life’s adventures you have taken.

They are usually 100 questions that need to be answered. To ensure that the participant is as honest as possible, the test is anonymous and you can only share your score with your friends but they cannot know what questions you answered. These questions have two answers. That is, yes or no. it is a fun test and you are able to gauge how pure you are and whether it is in line with your age.

The level of purity is gauged by the percentage you have. At 100% you are considered as pure as snow and as the number goes down, you are not pure at all. It is very hard to get a person at 100% because we are all human and somehow, there are things we have tried out, whether privately or publicly. Although the questions are more or less related, they vary from one researcher to another. It goes without saying that for those people with a high percentage, say 100% they are very likely to have boring lifestyles. A biggest percentage falls between 76-45%. In this category, you have tried many things but you have as well had self-control on some things that you would not try.

As much as its fun, these questions may vary from common things in the society, such as holding hands romantically, to the things that would be considered as insane in the society such as practicing bestiality. It is the sensitivity of the questions that make it to be anonymous thus enabling the participant to be as honest as possible. The main purpose this test was to have a track of someone’s maturity over the years but it has been seen as a way of knowing how kinky you are especially if compared with your circle of friends.

Hide Your True

If one was to think about their career, they may find that they do something that really matters to them. And if they were to think about what their relationships are like, they may also find that this area of their life is just as fulfilling.

It could be said that this will be the ideal scenario, as one is likely to feel as though they are on the right track in life. However, if only one of these areas was going to plan, their life wouldn’t be the same.

Out of Balance

One could have a fulfilling career but they could find that their relationships are not very fulfilling. This is then likely to mean that they work more than they should, and that they won’t have anyone to share their life with.

The reason they can work harder is because this can be a way for them to avoid how they feel, and there is the chance that one is used to feeling lonely and disconnected. The support, validation, and care, amongst other things, that other people would provide is not going to be available.

Missing Out

There could be people who see them as being extremely successful, and they could even look up to them. But beyond what they have achieved, there is likely to be the sense that something is missing.

The pain that is within them might have a played a big part in how far they have been able to go in this area of their life. So although they are doing well in this area in their life, they are going to want to have people in their life that they can connect with.

The Other Way

On the other hand, one could have people who they are close to, but their career could be going in the wrong direction. In fact, this area of their life could something that they have overlooked for a long time.

One is then going to have a number of people around them who care about them, but they will feel as though something is missing. Something within them will have the need to be heard, and until they are able to listen to this part of themselves, they will continue to suffer.

Conflict

Even so, one could believe that they should be happy with how their life is, and that they shouldn’t expect to have all of their needs met. If something like this is taking place within them, it will be vital for them to look into why they believe this.

As there is going to be no reason why they shouldn’t have close friends and a fulfilling career. And if one does have a fulfilling career, there is going to be no reason why they can’t have fulfilling relationships.

ry To Change Others When They Feel Worthless

If one was to think about the people who they spend time with, they may find that they feel comfortable in their presence. What this could show is that these people accept them as they are.

Acceptance

There is then going to be no reason for one to feel as though they need to put on an act. As a result of this, one is going to feel good when they are around them, and they will feel good when their time together comes to an end.

To have these kinds of people in their life is naturally going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing. The feedback that they get from them will nourish their self-esteem, and it will then be a lot easier for them to achieve their goals.

The Right Nutrients

Therefore, in the same way that eating the right food will allow one’s body to function in the right way, being around the right people will make it easier for them to be at their best. If, on the other hand, one was their own island, it wouldn’t matter who they had around them.

But as one is an interdependent human being, this is not something that can be overlooked. When it comes to how one sees themselves, the people they spend time will play a big part.

An Important Area

However, even though the people that one surrounds themselves with play a big part in their life, it doesn’t mean that this is something that receives the attention it deserves. For example, it is not common for the mainstream media to talk about how important it is to eat the right food.

What this source is unlikely to talk about is how important it is to spend time around the right people. If one was to spend time around the wrong people, it might not matter what they eat.

Undermined

When one has people around them who accept them, this could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. If they were to come cross someone who doesn’t experience life in this way, they might wonder what is going on.

If they know them, they could ask them why they don’t find people who will treat them better. The other person could listen to what they have to say, or it could end up going over their head.

Triggered and What You Can Do

Getting your “buttons” pushed or getting “triggered” is an opportunity to heal and grow. The more hurts we’ve endured and the weaker our boundaries, the more reactive we are to people and events. Our triggers – our buttons – are our wounds. Codependents are off the charts when it comes to reacting to others’ feelings, needs, problems, opinions, wants, and more. When we react, we permit our insides to be taken over by someone or something outside of us. There’s no filter or boundary. We’re pulled off center and might start thinking about that person or about what might happen in the future. Negative reactions easily escalate hurt feelings and conflict. Often, however, we’re really reacting to someone from our past.

A wise, apropos Al-Anon slogan is “Q-Tip,” – “Quit Taking It Personally.” Interpreting someone else’s words or actions to be a comment about us is taking another person’s feelings personally. We might react with guilt or defensiveness, because we assume we’re the cause of someone else’s negative emotion or problem. We have just taken on the other person’s problem or shame when they shame or blame us. Our peace of mind and self-esteem now resides with someone else.

Defining Triggers

What we react to – our “triggers”– are unique to our personality and individual history. Think of triggers as wounds – often from past trauma. When we’re triggered, we’re re-experiencing a past injury in present time – similar to a post-traumatic stress reaction. It’s reopening a painful wound that hasn’t had a chance to heal. A sign of being triggered is when our reaction is disproportionate to the present event or not reasonably related to the actual present facts.

Internal Triggers
Primary triggers are internal, dysfunctional personal beliefs that we learned in childhood. We can trigger ourselves into feeling ashamed if we don’t measure up to standards we’ve adopted for ourselves. We can easily activate our inner critic to ruin our day or our life! Do the steps in 10 Steps to Self-Esteem: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism to quiet your critic and overcome the “tyranny of the should’s.” An example is the belief that we should self-sacrifice for other people. Codependents generally deny or devalue their needs. Given this belief, it thus makes sense to put the needs of others first and feel guilty or ashamed not to. Someone asking for help would thus trigger our automatic offer of assistance, even when that could harm ourselves or be counterproductive to the person asking.

Shame-based beliefs about ourselves can make us vulnerable to being triggered by the words and behavior of others. When we’re criticized, whether or not it’s intentional, we can easily surrender our self-esteem and sense of well-being. A common trigger for codependents is being told they’re “too sensitive,” or “selfish.” Frequently, their parents dismissed their feelings or needs with these shaming labels. However, labels stick, despite the fact that they were said by an insensitive or selfish parent. We can grow up feeling branded for life, even though the judgments were untrue.

External Triggers and Overreactions
In some cases, triggers are signs of danger that preceded an earlier wound. We learned to react to them in order be safe and loved. Sometimes these warnings are helpful, but when applied automatically to a different situation, our reactions can be dysfunctional. This is particularly true when we overreact. Overreactions occur when the intensity and duration of our feelings and/or behavior are disproportionately greater than normal under the present circumstances. We overreact when we’re reminded of an experience we’ve had with someone or something important in our past. They may be hard to recognize in ourselves because we believe our perceptions are accurate, but they’re easy to identify in others. For instance, when a hypervigilant war veteran draws his gun upon hearing the walls creak at night – his behavior is appropriate in a war zone, but not when he’s safe at home.

Similarly, we might appropriately slow down if we see a police car to avoid a speeding ticket, but if our past experience with the police has endangered us or a loved to us, we might attempt to flee, drawing the police’s attention and leading to a serious conviction for reckless driving. An overreaction can bring about exactly what we’re attempting to avoid.

Keep in mind for your mandap decor

Size
One of the most important aspects when deciding on the mandap would be the size of the structure or the place. This helps exactly understand how much space would be needed for the rituals to happen, and the number of people that can be accommodated in its confines whilst the rituals are on.

Style wise
the style of a mandap can be any of them or a mix.. You cannot possibly have an open air mandap in the midst of July when the Monsoons lash hither thither, similarly go for bright colors if you are planning a day-time pheras.

Vastu
Since the Big Fat Indian wedding is deep rooted with astrological talks the positioning of the mandap too would have to be cared about. In accord with the Hindu culture and tradition, mostly the positioning would be towards the norther-eastern part of the venue.

Keeping it strong
It would be important to note the strength of the mandap, Keep in mind the strength of the mandap, especially when the varmala ceremony happens where a rage of family, friends, and visitors would clamber to come up and be there for the heavenly moment that happens.

Check with the seating arrangements
With the innumerable rituals we have in our Indian weddings
at the banquet hall in rohini, we don’t expect the family members to stand all through – the right seating arrangements have to be made. Ideally, the would-be-couple are made to sit eastwards, seated on the floor mostly.

Floral mandaps
For a touch of spring at your wedding, think about the beautiful floral touches for the mandap to be dolled up in. Decorate the canopy in vibrant Yellows and Orange shades of flowers, Decorate artifacts and wall hangings can be used to adorn the bright backdrops and to add more zest and vibrancy around.

Cross cultural theme
Flowers that can be used here are Orchids, Lilies, baby Roses and Carnations. Instead of draping the canopy pillars with garlands of flowers, use Silk cloth to drape the pillars of the mandap. Orchids and Carnations and a bunch of exotic flowers can be installed at the center and at the backdrop of the mandap too.

Mind the lighting
Lights would play a very important role in setting the mood and in creating that wonderful mise-en-scene you visualised your mandap to be, so paying good attention to that is a must. Lights would enhance the look of the mandap, and sets it apart from other weddings you have been to or seen. If the color tone of the mandap chosen is warm, using chandeliers would best enhance the look. For cool tone colors chosen for the mandap, fairy lights and LEDs work best.

How to Deal with a Lack of Affection in Your Relationship

Tips on How To Save An Affection-Starved Marriage and Keep Your Relationship Happy

Affection can be one of the first things to go after children are born or when a marriage is in trouble. BUT it doesn’t have to mean something serious and it can be naturally restored as I will go on to explain.
Why after children? Hundreds of couples have shared with me that the affection they used to give to each other over time has been transferred to their children. Whilst this can easily happen couples without children can go through periods of lack of affection too.
Affection for many people is what makes a relationship a relationship.
If you are craving affection in your marriage right now and are longing to be hugged, kissed, or given affection through caring words or “I love you” message – you are not alone. Thousands if not millions of couples may find themselves longing to be desired and cherished and this is often because of bad advice that never works.
If you are upset about a lack of affection in your marriage you may be feeling lonely, ignored, unimportant and unloved. You may have started to see you husband or wife as distant, cold, self-centred or only interested in the children.
If this is happening in your relationship right now, read on as I will tell you what works and what doesn’t when it comes to saving a marriage from a lack of affection.
Marriage Counsellors or well-meaning friends may tell you to have a serious discussion with your spouse telling them that the lack of affection is bothering you.
This relationship advice presumes that your spouse did not know that you like affection or forgot all of a sudden!
Or that maybe they did not realise that they were not showing you affection and somehow didn’t notice it.
But telling your husband or wife to be more affectionate never works, perhaps you already know that from trying it in your own relationship.
If anything, it can drive your husband or wife further away.
Having had this issue come up hundreds of times in the couples I’ve supported over the years I know what works and what doesn’t.
So here are a few of my tips on saving a marriage from a lack of affection.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TIP – 1 STOP BRINGING IT UP
Talking about it (even if only occasionally will not get your husband or wife to change. Yet many relationship counselors may advise telling your spouse ” You are not being affectionate”
It doesn’t matter whether you beg, demand, joke, it never, ever works long-term or feel good.
Of course your husband or wife may do it when you have told them to, but if you have ever asked for affection and been given it on demand you know what I am talking about when I say -it feels horrible!